Coaching Course

What is the difference between a Coach, Mentor and a Councilor?

Mentor - Someone who has been through the process and is to impart to another person
Coach - Someone who may not been through the process but yet able to correct on the expert. e.g. Tigerwoods' coach.
Councilor - Coaching in a slower and more emotional and advice orientated.

Listening is the key factor to these roles, however the level of listening gets lower as it goes up.

These is what I have learnt today at my coaching course. In line with my centre's vision of us being coaches coaching NSmen, my CO arranged for this course. Definitely beside the definition of each of the roles, I also picked up a important tool of communication.

Guys being guys, we are much more problem-solving orientated. Whenever we hear a problem from a friend, we often give solutions even before listening to the whole story. The usual case is that when someone complains, the person is usually looking for a listening ear. Often enough you will hear words like "I understand how you feel, but....."

My centre actually came to equation of "I understand how you feel" equates to "shut up and listen to me". And the word "but" is the starting word for more harm, as the solution will come after that word.

The useful tool I learnt is called the 3 R's.

Repeat
Repeating keywords of what person said is to show that you are actually paying attention. You send a message of interest to the person and then the person will be more comfortable to tell you more.

Rephrase
This is usually used for longer winded person. By using your own words to summarized what the person had said is also similar to REPEAT. However this sends a message inclusive of confirmation of the information. Even the message is wrong, you will still score some points for telling the person you are putting effort in listening.

Reflect Feelings
This looks easy after being enlighten by the coach, however putting it into practical usage is tough. You just had to put the word of the feeling into your sentence, that is all. E.g. If the person is feeling sad and is complaining to you, you can say things like "I feel your dismay in this exercise".

These are the icebreaker tools of communication with problems as of what I have learnt today. Of course it doesn't just stop here, you will have to carry one with with open ended questions. "Who, What, When, Where, Why and How" are the key to these open ended question.

E.g. "Is your favourite colour red?" There are plenty of colours on earth so when are you going to hit the right colour. "What is your favourite colour?" is the open ended question you can ask to solve all the problem.

Lastly, I like the Coaches' Rule : 80% Listening 20% Talking. Indeed listening is a vital factor to a conversation.